Finding the shy girls in Thailand

Posted by admin on August 14th, 2007 filed in the locals, bars & beers, expat life

Many people have the wrong idea about Thai girls, based solely on all the ‘party’ girls they see wandering around on the arm of a foriegner – some of these men twice their age. Actually there are many more very respectable and nice young ladies who are dying to meet foreigners but are too shy to get out.

Often I met such girls in unlikely places, when I was least expecting it. It could be on a bus or in a shop or at a restaurant. Of course you practically have to live here and patiently wait for the chance to arise. And mostly their English won’t be too strong because they have no foreigner friends to practice with.

If you can speak enough Thai for a conversation you have a huge advantage for meeting nice girls who would love to date a foreigner but can’t find many that speak their language. These girls, I have found, are almost always respectable, well mannered girls who are friendly and willing to chat once the ice is broken, they are simply too shy to get out and introduce themselves. They may have been secretly admiring you across the room, but would never initiate a conversation, but you would get a smile out of them, as you would from any Thai.

Awhile back I met a lady like this, who was a bit older than me but looked much younger. She had a truly beautiful face, lovely smile and angelic demeanour. As it turns out she was in this bar area with her friends and had come ‘just to get out’ and see things. She admitted later that she was there to try and find a boyfriend (preferably farang, for she had given up on the Thais who thought her too old), and it was her first time doing this. I suspect it was her more confident friend (who looked like a bar girl but wasn’t) that pulled her along.

All the same, this lovely women was friendly and wasn’t too shy once she realised I could speak some Thai and had a bit of wit (I always try to make my conversations with Thai people fun and full of jokes!). She asked me if I would help her to find a boyfriend and I got the impression she had been sitting at home all her life.

Well, we met again, with all her friends in tow and went to a restaurant (which I had to pay for everyone), then didn’t know what to do so I suggested we go and sing karaoke (which I’m terrible at) and after some sheepish reactions they agreed it might be fun so off we went. By this time I could see she was obviously keen on me even though I had made it clear from the start I had a girlfriend.

Inside the dark karaoke place, with the big comfy sofas it wasn’t long before she was leaning against me, resting her hand on my leg and eventually me with arms around all three girls to be equal ‘nice’ to all three.  She was still a little reserved but clearly something like this hadn’t come her way in ages, so she wasted no time cuddling up to me.

Well, I fell for her and we met up again and again, and then we were dating (quietly because I was still with the other girl – yes I’m a real shit I know). All the time she was well aware that I was not available to be her boyfriend and I did promise to try and find her someone but never did, this didn’t bother her because she clearly was more interested in being a ‘side order’ for me. In fact from the very first time we met her and her friends joked about me having a gik and how they would oblige (see my earlier posts on what giks are – casual lovers), and this is how it eventually turned out as we patiently got to know each other.

So, without even looking for it, I had stumbled on a nice respectable women with a regular office job, a bit older than me but at least mature, very attractive, and happy to conduct a discreet relationship with no strings attached. What then was in it for her? Temporary romance? I asked her several times, concerned she might get all hung up on me and hurt when it all run out of steam, but she repeatedly said she was bored at home, liked me, understood I was never going to be her boyfriend and was just happy to enjoy the romantic times we shared. If I was unavailable she was understanding and never got demanding.

Of course this is an unusual case, us being ‘giks’ together, and at first it wasn’t on my mind, but regularly I meet similar girls who are lovely, not predatory or looking for a sugar daddy, just lonely shy regular girls who would love to find a man, probably a nice farang who treats her well, and will readily go along with it all.