Koh Samui and the surrounding area is a home, business, holiday destination and paradise for everyone to enjoy and we can all do our part to help sustain the environment. One thing that is evident everywhere on the island is the amount of rubbish that is accumulated.

Now with more than 15,000 rooms for holidaymakers available on the island, rubbish can get quite bad, particularly in the busy areas. Chaweng and Lamai Beach are hotspots for messy streets. The local government does have a daily collection along the main roads, but there is still more we can do.

Although not official, there is some kind of recycling that goes on around Samui; you may well have seen it without even realising! Local Thais will travel around, usually on motorbikes, with a side car collecting cardboard, glass and other recyclable goods, which they then sell-on.

Keeping these goods separate from the normal rubbish does not only do well for the environment, you are helping keeping the economy going by giving locals a means for earning money.

Water shortage is a hot topic also at the moment and with this searing heat it is good to keep an eye on how much water is being wasted in your household/hotel room/villa. Simple things like reporting leaky taps, taking showers instead of baths and all the other things you do when in the west all add up to a brighter Samui.

If you have travelled from the UK to land on this isle I call paradise, or indeed most other places in Northern Europe there is a good chance your flight has been on hold.

I have a met few people in the past few days that ventured out of their five-star resort seeking somewhere cheaper to stay until they can fly home. I have to say that 95 per cent of them were amazed at how friendly the locals have been.

If you are stuck here why not get and about and see some more of the island away from the frozen margarita poolside. Head into the hills and see the wildlife, visit the temples around the island, take in a muay thai boxing match, just don’t volunteer yourself!

Tourism has been down recently and the local Thais and expats will appreciate the faces popping in to say “hi”. Too many people come to Koh Samui and never leave their hotels. Their image is often tainted by large exaggerations of how bad it outside the walls of their hotel. don’t be afraid we are a very friendly bunch of characters.

That time of year has come upon us again, when everyone rushes up to Big C and Tesco Lotus to buy the last of the water pistols. If you are savvy enough, you would have brought some over from your homeland as the Thai types are designed to last about six hours…if you’re lucky.

If you’ve never experienced the Songkran festival before, get ready for a blast of ice cold water, itchy talcum powder, followed by more of the same to celebrate the Thai New Year. Officially in Samui it is just the day of the 13th April, but be aware on the night of the 12th as you may well get targeted by the lovely ladies in the Samui bars.

It can be great fun when the whole island virtually comes to a standstill with the sheer amount of trucks taking tours making as many people as wet as possible. If the sun is shining it is a welcome relief to get soaked, but stay clear of the ice factories as their water is extra, extra cold.

Every year I see many tourists walking down the street during this time demanding not to get soaked. It does slightly annoy me as this is their country and their New Year, and their celebrations should be respected although it can sometimes get out of control.

If you do venture out make sure that anything you don’t want to get wet stays in your hotel room, including the wife and kids! Use a little plastic bag to conceal your money and above all, make sure you take your common sense, as the Thais can sometimes go a little over the top this time of year.

Tourists and expatriates will do well not to notice the amount of stray dogs on the island. A good percentage of them are more than likely completely wild but you don’t here of many attacks, mainly because they rely on humans for scraps to survive.

A lot of tourists do seem to be given duff information about soi (Thai for ‘street’) dogs and avoid them like the plague for fear of attack. The opposite is almost always true in my belief as I have only come across one snarling dog in more than 6 years who was more than likely simply scared by me.

I see different soi dogs everyday and I (meaning my wife) will always carry around some dog or cat food in case we come across a skinny looking fellow or girl. They have always been gentle in nature and will come across a bit apprehensive and scared at first but will gladly sit with you or walk you safely to the end of their territory.

There is a dog rescue place on the island that takes in cats and dogs should they need care from the result of an accident or simply need feeding or treatment for mange. They rely heavily on donations and you will find a collection box in just about every animal-friendly bar, restaurant and business on the island.

If you need to contact them you can do so through their website: www.samuidog.org/ or telephone +6681-893-9443/+6677-413-490. Don’t be a stranger to animals in need; they live on the island too.

Kamalaya Wellness Sanctuary, established by ex-yogi John Stewart and his wife Karina, offers a holistic approach to health and a growing number of celebrity clients are seeking out the resort searching for a spot of inner tranquility. There are nine wellness programs which include emotional balance, healthy lifestyle, wellness a la carte, Asian alchemy and longevity.

And as their retreat is based by a Buddhist monk’s cave it is easy to see why so many well-heeled stars take up this option when fleeing the bright lights of Hollywood. Lush gardens feature seascape views with the white sandy beaches and boulder-dotted ocean bestowing a calming effect. Plus a herbal steam cavern, landscaped plunge and swimming pools, tea lounge plus two dining areas mean every whim is catered for.

 The wellness spa sanctuary features daily classes in yoga, Tai chi and Pilates while the infrared sauna claims to burn 600 calories in half an hour. Weekly rejuvenation and detox program begin at $1940 and include transfers, meals, consultations, daily activities, herbal remedies, five Chi Nei Tsang massages, colonic therapy and five infrared sauna treatments. For more information about spas in Samui.

Disembarking the ferry boat the day after the full-moon party time, I am greeted by the sight of two legless visitors swerving on a motorbike trying to make it back to their guesthouse. On Koh Phangan you can hire a motorbike at a daily fee of just 250 baht. However, hire bikes are not available for all visitors as I witnessed this Thai guy trying to rent one.

The fiercely-staring shop owner explained: “I’m sorry but we won’t risk hiring a motorcycle to a Thai visitor ever again. As deposit I can ask foreigners for their passports, otherwise no one can hire a bike. This rule applies all over Pha Ngan – and for good reason. Tourists get loaded, crash and dump their hired motorcycles, then depart the next day.” I noticed the anger in the voice of the owner when he continued saying: “They are really all the same; I hate persons who show no respect.”

I felt sad for the rental shop owner. It must be a torture having to deal each day with people you despise. A pumping heavy bass coming out of a speaker near my beach bungalow rudely awakens me the next morning. At breakfast two teenagers refuse to finish their all-nighter and sightseeing is what they decide to do next. I watch them stumble towards their bikes with a can of Chang Beer in their hands.

Back at my bungalow in Ban Tai I still can hear the loud beats of monotonous techno music blasting out of the speaker, which makes it impossible to hear the breaking waves on the paradisiacal beach in front of me. Suddenly the whole scene feels wrong and I truly miss the relaxed ambience of my first visit to the island several years ago.

So much for a happy holiday – after only one night spending at my beach bungalow, I want to get away from Koh Pha-ngan’s southern part for good. A little later I hit the road leading to the northern part. I’ll drive through Thongsala, which has become the island’s principal town boasting food stalls, a night bazaar, 7-Eleven shops, bookshops, internet café’s and even a superstore. Both Thong Nai Pan Noi and Thong Nai Pan Yai are fabulous beaches on the island’s northeast shore. Online Koh Pha Ngan travel guide

Located in the far north, I arrive in Chaloklum, which is a serene fishing village with a few diving shops and seafood restaurants. At a low speed I cruise through following a route to the northwest shore, passing Mae Haad Beach and staring towards Koh Ma far away. Getting hungry, I turn right onto a bumpy road leading to Haad Salad. It seems that the shop owners I pass by for a long time not have seen a visitor, and a yawning shopkeeper stares hopefully in my direction.

Haad Salad is one of the island’s quietest beaches and I decide to rent a beach hut. At check-in, the beachside resort’s receptionist mentions that this destination was overcrowded with partying visitors this time the year before. Now the resort is totally empty and plenty of huts to choose from. At Haad Salad I end up staying for a few overnights, almost not noticing the shrinking moon.
     

The reason for the stunning tropical island’s allure was pretty obvious. Positioned in the Gulf of Thailand’s core, Samui is blessed with 365 days per year sunshine and fabulous dream beaches. Like it usually happens with all perfect secrets, the news travelled fast of this ‘gem in the Andaman’ and the result was that Koh Samui has become one of our planet’s most popular tropical travel destinations offering tourists their endless demands for experiencing stays on a mythical island paradise.

Chaweng on Koh Samui’s eastern shore is undoubtedly the island’s tourist hot-spot. Chaweng represents first-class accommodation establishments, a wide range of Thai and international restaurants, vibrant nightlife scene along with a spacious white-sand beach area.

Today, there’s a shortage of available land around Chaweng. Due to this other environments on the island such as Bang Por, Lamai, Ngam and Ban Taling Ngam are experiencing significant tourist infrastructure development and are expected to become thriving holiday destinations in the near future. The northern and southwestern parts of the island are likely to be transformed into major holidaymakers’ areas. These areas provide several of the island’s largest plots of available land and some of the biggest private accommodations are being constructed.

Today, the situation and reputation of the real estate market on Koh Samui is rather negative due to several illegal construction project scandals and a period of political instability. Perhaps the recent elections and the presence of reliable real estate businesses such as Exotiq and Savills, the situation might only get better.

Luxurious property on Samui

Today Koh Samui still belongs to Suratthani province. However, in the near future Samui might achieve a provincial status itself. Should the island become a province than it would benefit from a, provided by the national government, significantly decreased amount of money. More money would be invested in more development of the tourist infrastructure, making the island an even more perfect option for international investors.

The unique airport is set for drastic refurbishments, providing more convenient access to locations across South-East Asia and attracting higher tourist numbers. The internationally acclaimed Hyatt is constructing a new hotel establishment while Club Med and Big C are also planning to realise new resort accommodations on Samui.

When combining these prestigious plans with the fact that celebrities such as the Beckhams, Kristen Justin-Henin and Dustin Hoffman have purchased land on this tropical paradise; it will only lend loads of confidence to the entire property market on Koh Samui. With these cultural as well as real estate developments, Samui’s good reputation being one of the globe’s top island tourist destinations will definitely grow.

Comprehensive information on the island is available on this up-to-date and reliable online resource to living on Koh Samui, including real estate, health care, visas and living costs.

No seriously, that wasn’t meant as a derrogatory joke, but ‘thinking’ takes on a whole new meaning here. Thinking here isn’t quite something you ‘do’ – in the same sense that we would expect in the West. In fact, in a vague way, you are encouraged not to think too much in Thailand. Perhaps the locals have a point, for they don’t get too deeply into any complex riddles, philosophy is lightly touched on, simplified (though not always acceptable) solutions are usually considered the best and wisdom is something you borrow from your parents or older neighbour. As my house keeper says, ‘thinking too much gives me a headache”. Tips for visiting Samui. 

Just the other day I was receiving a massage from a sweet, smiling lady who gave me the impression, just from here expressions alone, that her mind was usually blank. She looked at me and said ‘you’re thinking too much, just relax’. Perhaps she was right. Or maybe her yarstick of comparison was a little too short. 

In Thailand it’s fairly accurate to assume that not enough thought goes into many actions and decisions. True you can see all around you examples of competence and professionalism – doctors who would be equally respected anywhere in the world, executives who are very capable of organising international events or hotel staff who uphold five-star service. But these are highly trained people. On the whole however people here have less of an ability to think about solutions to problems. The system has taught them otherwise. Traditionally in Asia the system does the thinking for you, the solution can be found by following instructions. And if it’s not covered in the instructions then there is no immediate solution.

There are cultural influences to bear here of course. Respect for your elders is paramount here and it maintains the order among the rank and file. By thinking too much you might end up challenging the system and your elders (whom should always be assumed to be wiser than you) and that would mean a loss of face. So, regardless of the outcome you simply do as everyone else does and not think too much about a possible better way to appraoch the task. Thai cultural etiquette

By now I can imagine the cultural anthropologist among my readers are howling with objection, but the truth is; if you are used a highly organised society where important decisions that affect lots of people are carefully considered for the optimum outcome, then you’re in for some head shaking here. Sure Thailand does things ‘differently’, but if you are from Stuttgard, say, you will find it quite frustrating here sometimes.

Allow me to recount one simple example; recently a new highway was built either side of a canal in the west of the city and it’s immediately become busy with plenty of speeding traffic (so safety markings on the road ought to be correct). It’s wide enough for three lanes. The kerbside lane in Thailand is always used for parking, or riding motorcycles against the flow of traffic. There also needs to obviously be a solid yellow line about 30cms from the dangerous concrete barriers on the canal side, but the project engineer (who should be senior and apparently knowledgeable enough to oversee a multi-million baht civils project) allowed the markings to be 2m from the barrier – making it big enough to be another lane. This means that the slow lane becomes the parking lane, the fast or overtaking lane becomes the slow lane and the typically reckless drivers here think nothing of using the danger lane for overtaking – barrelling down the road at 120kph with their right fender inches from the concrete barriers. Needless to say there have been some nasty accidents.  A little bit of thought regarding safety, before marking the lanes, would’ve saved lives. But it doesn’t mean much here.

And so, all around you are plenty of mindless lemmings who go about their daily jobs habitually as they were taught (or following everyone else if they can’t remember) without ever stopping sufficiently to consider if what they are doing is correct. It could be a restaurant cashier using a calculator to find out how much change to give you from 100 baht when the bill is 87 baht. When you go to pick up your serviced printer you get home to discover that it’s now more broken than when you sent it in – the shop forgot to test it when it came back from the supplier. The carpenter working on your newly built house will put the doors on the wrong way so they obstruct the light switches when they open, despite the fact that he’s been fitting doors for years. And so it goes on.

Most people here have a rather simplistic approach to problem solving or building. Longevity and quality are lesser considerations to cutting costs and effort. Few people give much though to the problems that are likely to arise in due course. Everyone simply ‘does’ without ‘thinking’ first. Forward planning isn’t a strong trait here. This of course means an enormous amount of wasted time and energy rectifying things that are done wrong or insufficiently.

The result, as a foreigner, is to get used to the whole mai pen rai approach. Expect things to break or not work out as per your expectations. Be prepared to have to try several times to achieve a satisfactory result. Pay more attention to the end product and ask for changes to be made. Make sure your requests are explicit or get your Thai friend to explain clearly to them exactly how you want it. Even after the communication barrier has been removed, there is still often a misunderstanding of the ‘concept’ as a whole, resulting in disappointment and second attempt. In short, you often have to do the all the thinking yourself. 

Thailand has produced few ‘rocket scientests’ over the years but there again, it’s a good example of how harmonious and less stressed a society can be when we all think a little less. 

Guide to Thailand 

Foreigners who’ve come to live here appreciate the fact that you pretty much do anything (money permitting) without some sort of permit, restriction, community forum or protest. It’s what attracts many, and it can be a relief after living in an over-regulated society.

For sure, it’s so much easier to build a house without costly town-planners inspecting every tiny alteration you make, or the requirement of all sorts of paper work and approval. But there is a downside to all this. 

“the longer one resides in Samui the more one is struck by the almost determined lack of regularity, discipline and regimentation in Thai life” wrote Anthropologist John Embree in 1950. Not much has changed. After you’ve been here awhile you certainly notice, sometimes with exasperation, the sheer unwillingness of the locals to conform to regulations – well certainly one’s that make sense for the greater civil society.Living in Samui

Of course, it would be inaccurate to describe them as non-conformists, for within their behavioural social structure they go to great lengths not to upset the status quo within their little circle. Everyone falls in line with the traditional rank and file of a village or company hierarchy. 

But, outside of this, each individual will generally do as they please with little respect to laws, civil obedience, common sense and above all safety and consideration for others. It’s quite ironic, since Thai people appear to be quite considerate and polite in each others company, but as strangers they simply ignore any thought of ‘doing the right thing’.

For example, try walking on the sidewalks of any city centre in Thailand you’ll find them crowded with vendors and market stalls, set up wherever they please. Or a shophouse restaurant would have set out some tables and chairs on this area. You have to use the street to walk anywhere. Well, this is what sidewalks are for in Asia.

Don’t expect the traffic to be policed either. In rush hour people will mindlessly double-park in a busy lane while the browse the local market for supper ingredients. The traffic police are nowhere to be seen. Kaaraoke restaurants pop up in the suburbs and keep everyone awake late at night – but when there’s fun to be had like this, few people will take objection. Heck, you can even set up a roadside bar on your front lawn and no one will stop you.

There are few laws limiting what can be built in a suburban area, so don’t be surprised if you suddenly have a factory or huge condo as a neighbour. Complaining will do little good if they have ‘paid’ enough money to get the go ahead. When the rush hour is over, songteaw drivers make extra money by driving through quiet suburbs blaring out advertising from speakers on the vehicle’s roof. Try telling them to stop (making extra money). It’s hopeless.

There may be laws and regulations but they are applied very loosely. Thai’s like to be able to do as they please (especially if there is money to be made) and the authorities probably realise that heavy handed enforcement of regulations will only create general discontent in the community. Thai people are remarkably resiliant at ‘putting up’ with unsatisfactory consequences. They simply ignore them and get on with their little world. 

Foreigners living here find this exasperating at times, but as the overwhelming minority there is little you can do, other than react like and Thai and say… ‘Mai pen rai’.

Life in Chiang Mai 

Where there are tourists there will invariably be bar girls. For sure, its part of the attraction in Thailand for some. There is financial osmosis that goes on between rich men and poor girls and it’s turned a whole sector of Thai women into dependents, people with mislead ideas of being a full time ‘ladies of leisure’.

Traditionally, Thailand society has always dictated that women are financially dependent on their men, but this isn’t strictly true. Many women end up having to work hard to support themselves and their families for various reasons, but there remains the ‘dream’ among younger girls that they will one day marry and be ‘kept women’. Some do, they become mia noi (minor wives) to wealthy men and live a discreet but comfortable life, even if they are lonely and marginalised. Rich girls imagine they will be married into another rich family of equal status where money is plentiful and the most challenging task they’re faced with is raising the kids (with the baby sitters and house keepers) and organising socialite parties.

I think that this sort of background maybe contributes to the casual way in which many young girls get involved in the skin trade. The idea of being paid by men to party and never having to actually put in a hard day’s work, appeals to them. They see their older sisters coming home with pretty clothes and never having to go off ‘to work’ during the day. The have fancy mobile phones to flash around and behave like life is one long party. That’s the problem, once they step into that bar, their attitude to life and work is never the same.

From that point on they believe that they should be taken care of simply because they are ‘beautiful women’. Of course, they’re far from that, just available flesh, but most of the girls who step into the bar trade aren’t smart enough to ever realise this. A few years later when they are no longer beautiful, and their energy spent, they become washed up and bitter has-beens with little to show from their earnings and about enough savings to get a small somtam stand going on a street corner not far from where they used to ply their trade.

Anyone who has had an experience with a bar girl will have noticed the contrived friendliness of a bar girl. It’s all relative to how much money she thinks she can get out of you. Well, they’re there to get money but their perspectives are really quite unrealistic sometimes. If their previous customer was new and uninformed, dolling out several thousand baht for a night, they’ll expect the same from you and sulk dramatically when you refuse. Even when you point out that five other girls in the same bar mentioned a price much lower (about 1000 baht say), she will accuse you of being stingy and ruin the whole evening because of her deflated expectations.

If you end up spending a few days with a girl she’ll invariably take you to take her shopping, in which case she’ll pick out a $300 dollar gold watch or something else which is totally useless in the life of girl whose main objective is to feed her poor family back home. Of course she’ll sell it later but it doesn’t occur to her that even a fool would see through the farce. Afterall, who is going to buy such an expensive gift for someone they barely know. Most people don’t even spent $100 on a birthday for their own wives! But, it’s a business for them and, lets face it, bar girls aren’t the brightest wheeler dealers in the night sky.

The reality is, the skin trade is a ruthless money business where love is for sale and everything costs. I’ve heard stories from men who’ve taken girls out the bar, but you can never take the ‘bar’ out of the girl. She’ll want all sorts of unneccessary things like gold necklaces and such and her ‘love’ is always relative to what you spend on her. Afterall, she’s sold her soul to the dollar and falling in love spells the end of her negotiating skill. They succeed on pulling on the hear strings of lonely men. Afterall which man is going to back down when she’s spent several hours ringing up the bar tab and giving him a hard-on.

The saddest thing about the lives of these bar girls, is that few of them ever achieve much during their bar girl days other than survive comfortably and enjoy themselves. Apart from learning some of the most fluent English spoken in all of Thailand, they go nowhere and have few skills, other than running a bar, to fall back on when the make-up has faded. They work a mere 4 hours a night, plus a few more on their back when they get ‘lucky’, but will spend their days free lying around their small dingy apartments watching TV. They could of course go out and earn more money doing less lucrative jobs that have some longevity as a career, but that’s too much hard work and certainly isn’t enjoyable by their standards.

Another problem of working as a bar girl is that some days they can take home 5000 baht for escorting a rich farang around, as well as going out of town and staying in posh hotels that cost more per night than their mama & pappa back home would earn in a week. They love the high-life and then expect it all the time. Their perspective of the true expense and value of everything is skewed. They will promptly blow the 5000 baht on upgrading their mobile phone for a smaller, newer model but a week later will be starving because they’ve had a quiet week with no customers and no savings to fall back on. Many bar girls, despite earning some of the best money relative to their skills and position, still live hand to mouth. They’re lured into the trade by promises of 1500 baht a night rates but overlook the fact that you might only get a couple of ‘gigs’ a week.

But perhaps the most damaging thing to their work ethic is that they’ll never be employable in a conventional sense after working the bar. Afterall, when you were earning sometimes upward of 1500 baht a night for a few hours of drinking, looking sexy, playing pool and having sex, who wants to go back to working in a factory or massage shop for 1500 baht a week.